Therapists often don’t understand fundamentalism, and they even recommend spiritual practices as part of therapy. In general, people who have not survived an authoritarian fundamentalist indoctrination do not realize what a complete mind-rape it really is.

Are you experiencing an existential crisis because you don’t believe what you were taught anymore? Are you afraid you’re a bad person, will be damned or are going to hell because you no longer follow the religion you were raised in? Do you question what’s true because it feels like everything you were taught was a lie? Do you experience crippling anxiety outside of the religious institution? Or do you feel depressed because you don’t know the meaning of life anymore? 

Are you afraid that you won’t be able to move past shame and fear from what you were taught? Are you worried that you won’t ever feel safe outside of the religious community but also can’t go back and try to fit in anymore? Are you questioning who you are as a person outside of the gender and sexuality rules you were taught from your upbringing? Do you feel ashamed when you explore sexuality/gender because of the religious messages? Do you face constant religious guilt? Do you wish you could move on and just “feel normal” but don’t feel understood by most people outside of religion? 

Many people have adverse religious experiences but they might not classify it as trauma unless they have specific memories of abuse. Adverse Religious Experiences is defined as any experience of a religious belief, practice, or structure that undermines an individual's sense of safety or autonomy and/or negatively impacts their physical, social, emotional, relational, or psychological well- being. These experiences can result in trauma to that person. 

Adverse Religious Experiences can include: 

• Loss of autonomy: shutting down individual thought, being taught to distrust one’s self, pressure to believe, think, and act like the group, no critical thinking, deferring decision making to the spiritual authority
• Spiritual Abuse: Being required to submit to spiritual authorities, “god says” “the Bible says”, no accountability for clergy, use of holy text to oppress or abuse, requiring certain thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors with serious consequences if they aren’t followed, threatening consequences for breaking group rules/”sinning”
• Isolation: Cutting off people outside of the religious system, information control, devaluing people outside the religious system, reporting back where time/money was spent
• Sexuality & Gender Defining Adverse Consequences: Defining rigid gender rules, inherent “sinfulness” of specific sexual expressions, belief in one gender being greater, patriarchal values, requirements of “purity”, policing sexual expressions, declaring individuals who are acting different from prescribed gender roles as sinful

And much more. 

These adverse religious experiences can result in trauma to the brain, body, and deeper sense of self. This can look like overwhelming self-doubt, confusion, constant fear and shame, fears of people and places outside the religious system, depression, anxiety, self-medicating with substances, dissociation and disconnect from the body, a freeze response, lack of purpose and a felt sense that life is meaningless, hopelessness, distrust in self, distrust in others, and more.

Thankfully, you are not alone. There are research proven strategies that can support you to reprocess trauma so you have the freedom to explore what you want in life now. Meeting with a trained religious trauma therapist for individual counseling can provide you the space to explore the harmful messages you were given, receive tools for helping the body process distress, and access your own ability to heal from trauma and move forward. 

Another way to overcome religious trauma is through group religious trauma therapy where you will receive the support of peers who have had similar experiences and a trained therapist that can provide guidance and reflection. See the Group Therapy tab for more info.

Many people who are questioning the faith system they were raised in or left it entirely feel worse before they feel better. Especially if the religion said that questioning makes you a bad or “unfaithful” person, or you risk harsh consequences for doing so, this can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. At the same time, there often is some shift that has happened in that person’s life, whether it was a single incident that caused them to change their beliefs or prolonged experiences of something feeling not quite right, which makes it nearly impossible to go back to how things were before. 

This can lead to being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Try to fit in and ignore the feelings of cognitive dissonance or face the confusion and uncertainty head on?

Meeting with a therapist that is familiar with religious trauma can make all the difference in navigating this. Many therapists are not educated on religious trauma and therefore do not understand it’s deep and significant impacts. 

A trained counselor can offer emotional support for navigating these distressing feelings in a way that allows you to move through the feelings and not stay stuck there. It is a normal part of the process to feel lost and confused. With the support of a knowledgable therapist, you can heal the parts of yourself that feel trapped, shamed, and fearful while exploring what makes sense to you now and rewriting your story.  

This process is powerful for shifting the relationship with shame and fear, rewiring the brain so that instincts based in past beliefs decrease or even go away entirely, and increasing the person’s trust in themself and confidence in the new path they are headed down. 

Every person’s experience with religious trauma is different. Your therapist will tailor the process to what makes sense for you and your goals. In general, therapy will start with exploring what you are experiencing in the present moment that is causing distress, getting curious about what past experiences may be linked to this distress, and finding tools to manage the trauma responses outside of session. There is a mix between body-based practices to support healing as well as processing the thoughts/beliefs to find what helps you move past adverse experiences. 

Sarah Kate has supported people to heal their trauma throughout her 8 years of being a therapist. She personally is passionate about helping with religious trauma as she is a survivor of religious trauma herself. Check out her about me page to learn more of her story. 

At Mindful Connection Counseling, we believe you have the power to heal from the experiences that led you to believe you are unworthy or unlovable. Even though it doesn’t often feel like it, facing these existential crises is incredibly brave. You deserve the support of a trained professional who can assist you in reclaiming your story.

Absolutely not! A pivotal part of exploring traumatic events in general and that includes adverse religious experiences is that the therapist can hold space for nuance and what matters to each person they are working with. Your therapist is invested in empowering you to find your own answers to your questions. The intention is to support you to create the relationship with faith, beliefs, non-beliefs, religious community, community outside of religion etc. that you want while helping you heal from distressing messages and experiences.

Yes, definitely! Counseling can help with the instinctual body responses that may be linked to trauma messages like “I don’t matter”, “I am a bad person” and “I’m not enough”. These often show up as body sensations and feelings instead of specific memories. There are multiple counseling methods that support working through these thoughts and feelings. 

Therapy does not have to be a lifetime commitment. Your therapist can support you with tools and resources to empower you outside of the session to improve your mental health and wellness. This can be a more brief approach to therapy. 

Or if you’re looking to do deeper work in processing religious trauma, your therapist will tailor the approach to those intentions. Using effective trauma techniques, clients can have improvements in even 2-8 sessions of trauma specialized therapy sessions (see EMDR specialty).

Some clients stay in therapy for a long time but shift frequency when they’ve gotten what they wanted from it to a more maintenance phase. Some start, make progress and pause then come back, and some do continued therapy over the course of a longer period of time. What matters most is that you get the support you are looking for whether it be short term or long term. You get to decide what fits for you. 

Increasing your awareness of how your past affects your present is helpful even if trauma isn’t a word that fits for you. From attachment research, which essentially is the study of how we relate to ourselves, others, and communities, we have learned that we tend to repeat patterns. But with reflection, we can bring awareness to this which allows us to have choices. We can choose what we want to continue from our past and what we want to change. So it is totally okay that you don’t resonate with the word trauma and therapy can still help you to have more choices, freedom, happiness in relationships and self confidence.

No problem! Let’s do a video session. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Florida, Colorado, and Idaho. That means I am licensed to treat anyone in these locations. Online therapy provides convenience, cuts travel costs, and makes scheduling easier so you can get the help you deserve. Call or email me today to set up an appointment.

If you’re struggling to recover after adverse religious experiences or leaving your faith community, help is available.