Is Your Relationship With Your Partner In a Slump?
Are you feeling disconnected and dissatisfied in your relationship?
Are you having difficulty navigating conflict without shutting down or withdrawing?
Or do you find yourself getting louder, pursuing your partner in increasingly angry or anxious ways?
Do you argue and aren’t even sure what it was about in the first place?
Does it feel like you and your partner are growing apart or even living separate lives?
Do you feel like it could be better but you just can’t seem to change it?
Long-Term Committed Relationships Are Hard Work
If you said yes to any of the questions above, you are not alone. So many couples struggle with feeling stuck or disconnected. Long-term committed relationships are hard work.
With advances in healthcare and technology, we live longer than ever before. We want to have happy and fulfilling connections that last a lifetime (or at least a long time) but often we don’t have the tools to navigate all the life changes AND stay connected to our partner(s). It is natural for our lives to ebb and flow so it takes hard work to keep the love alive in this changing landscape.
Additionally, stressful times can bring out deeper wounds. Painful past experiences, relationship patterns that tend to make things worse and not better, or even the way your caregivers treated you can come out in these times. We might start reacting from a place of hurt but may not even know why.
You might have tried talking about it with your partner but the same conflict just keeps resurfacing. If you do nothing or keep on as you are, it’s only bound to worsen the hurt and distance.
Couples Therapy Can Be A Game Changer
Imagine that you see each other at the end of a long day and you both feel… relieved. You enjoy each other's company and feel more connected than ever. When issues come up they are just speed bumps that you know how to navigate instead of potholes that break you down and leave you stuck on the side of the highway.
Counseling can be your turning point toward the playful, passionate, and steady relationship you crave. I have helped many couples over the years interrupt stuck patterns and find a renewed energy for connection.
Using research-proven strategies to improve connection, we will find which tools work for you. It is possible to feel secure and even excited in your relationship. If you have the motivation to work at it, you can create an even more meaningful connection than when you fell in love.
A Tailored Approach For Your Unique Relationship
In our first session, we’ll start with where you’re at right now. We’ll identify your intentions and explore what you both would like to experience in the relationship. From there we will investigate what parts of each of you arise when the distance or disconnect shows up.
As your therapist, I will provide a deeper reflection and understanding of what is happening in the relationship. Through this, you can have greater clarity on what needs to be addressed for you to move forward. We will develop tools that help you process your thinking on the relationship and step out of self-defeating patterns of behavior.
Every relationship is different, so I always tailor my sessions to each couple. You might respond well to behavioral strategies for cultivating connection or you may need a deeper approach to work through insecurities and past traumas. As we work together, I will draw on my training to offer the tools and techniques that can best serve you.
I’ve been supporting couples to improve their relationship throughout my career of the past 10 years, and I know that you really can create a fulfilling connection. With the objectivity of a third person with specialized training in relational approaches, you can get unstuck. You are capable of improving your relationship with the right support.
I’m considering couples counseling, but I still have some questions and concerns…
HOW DO I KNOW IF COUNSELING CAN HELP ME? MAYBE WE ARE JUST INCOMPATIBLE.
Often we’re told a lie that if a relationship is meant to be then it should just last, naturally. But that is not what the research shows. Sustaining long term relationships takes work and dedication.
You may decide that this isn’t the relationship for you. You always have the choice to be in this and work on it or restructure/dissolve the relationship. If you decide to work on it, know that having issues is human and not a sign of incompatibility.
I would even argue against the idea of inherent compatibility or incompatibility. It’s up to you to discover- do the positive qualities of the relationship outweigh the sacrifices. Counseling can help navigate the challenges to create a better connection, no matter where you’re starting from.
COUPLES COUNSELING SEEMS EXPENSIVE.
If you’re considering couples therapy, then odds are you are experiencing dissatisfaction in the relationship. If left unaddressed this can lead to separation and divorce. This is much more expensive than counseling.
And even if you decide to restructure the relationship, having better tools to navigate that will save you thousands of dollars in contentious legal battles. Additionally, happiness in our intimate relationships is linked to even longer life spans and positive health outcomes.
So improving your relationship will not only save you money from avoiding lawyer fees and such, it will improve your health and wellness beyond the relationship and who knows how many costs you’ll avoid by being healthier and happier in your life?
DOES THIS MEAN THAT I’LL NEED TO BE IN THERAPY FOREVER?
Therapy isn’t a lifetime commitment. Each couple is different, so I always tailor my treatment approach to what you’re looking for. You may only need a little time and education to get the tools to start improving the relationship.
Or, you may want additional, ongoing guidance. Let’s discuss at our first session what your hope is for this process and we can focus our efforts on that. We can always shift our frequency as changes arise. Let me know what you’re looking for and I’m here to support your goals.
I SEE YOU’RE AN ONLINE THERAPIST, HOW DOES THAT WORK?
Sessions are online via secure video. This affords you flexibility and saves you travel time. I recommend that you and your partner have a place that is private and comfortable for you both to meet with me.
We can be flexible if you’re unable to meet together on occasion. You simply click the link that will be sent to you through Simple Practice and join the meeting. I’ll be ready for you!
Fun Fact: more and more research is coming out to support that online therapy is just as effective as in person therapy. :)
You Don’t Have To Go Through Difficulties in Your Relationship On Your Own
If you’re struggling to create meaningful change in your relationship, help is available. I offer a 20 minute complimentary consultation for you to ask any questions and make sure I’m the best fit for you. Just click below and we’ll get started!
Couples+= I support couples with a variety of relationship structures such as monogamy, ENM (ethical non-monogamy), open relationships, swingers, polyamorous, etc. So whatever your relationship structure, I am passionate about helping you improve connections.