You’ve searched countless online directories trying to find a therapist that can support you as a LGBTQ+ person. You’re doing your best to read between the lines but the thought of being misunderstood yet again makes your stomach tighten. You are both exhausted and anxious at not knowing who is on the couch across from you.
You want to trust their good intentions but you’ve experienced too many therapists who just don’t get it. Maybe you’ve even had counselors in the past who used a heteronormative lens to understand your relationships. Or they dismissed your feelings when you shared how recent laws are causing you anxiety.
You deeply want the support of counseling but you don’t know if it’s worth it to be vulnerable again. The fears of being hurt or the past experiences of being stereotyped, misunderstood, or having your queer identity ignored make this process even harder.
You deserve to know who’s sitting across from you.
So many therapist profiles and directories don’t share who the person actually is that you’re talking to. Often you just learn about the types of therapy they do and maybe a little bit of what got them into counseling. But going into a first session is scary, because you really don’t know what they’re like.
Imagine knowing how your therapist thinks. You have a peace going into the first session that your therapist is for you because you know what she stands for. What if you had a therapist who isn't under the delusion that she is a “blank slate” and acts real and authentic.
This is what I hope to cultivate in my work. I want to make it less scary to go to that first session because clients already have an idea of who I am and how I work. My desire is that my new clients can focus on doing the brave work of therapy because they know their therapist is fully and authentically present to support them.
What I Stand For
All humans are worthy of love. As a queer person, I continually support my own healing and embrace my worthiness. I commit to bringing that self compassion work into every session I provide.
People in the LGBTQ+ community and BIPOC people and any other marginalized people group deserve equality and equity in every area of their life including but not limited to safety, healthcare choices, employment, marital status and housing.
Laws and belief systems that do not honor, affirm and respect LGBTQ+ people in their full humanity, goodness, and worthiness are oppressive. These contribute to the continual violence against this community. This needs to end in every form.
As a person who grew up in a patriarchal, heterosexist, capitalist, white supremacist society- I am committed to continually doing my work for the rest of my life to detox these belief systems and ideologies. I read, self reflect, receive feedback, work with a therapist, and engage in other practices to support my ongoing growth in detoxing.
As a therapist, I use my resources and training to support each person or **couple+ I work with to access their innate healing ability and achieve what they want out of therapy.
**See Couple+ Therapy Specialty page for more information on working with many forms of relationships including, kink, BDSM, and ethical non monogamy.
If you want to know more about my story, click the ABOUT tab at the top of the page to learn more!
Your LGBTQ+ Intersectional Identity
Therapy is deeply personal. You are showing up and sharing your whole self with a therapist. There is not another person like you nor will there ever be.
To truly be seen and understood you need to not only have your gender and sexual identities affirmed by your therapist, you also need to be seen for all parts of you and understood in the contexts of your lived experiences.
Kimberle’ Crenshaw coined the term intersectionality meaning “the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) combine, overlap, or intersect especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups” - merriam webster dictionary.
Every person has intersecting privileges, oppressions, and their own story that fits into the larger sociocultural narratives we’ve been given.
So while your sexuality and gender identities matter, I know that they are parts of the larger whole. You are your own person.
This means that some clients focus on those parts of themself frequently while others don’t focus on their sexual/gender identities much at all.
All of our parts play a part. I invite you as the client to connect with what parts are showing up in our sessions. I ask questions for you to explore the nuances of your intersectional identity so ultimately we can build a deeper and more loving relationship within yourself.
LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy Can Help You Create The Life You Want
Imagine that you wake up and feel peaceful. Shame and fear are no longer running your life. Depression and anxiety don’t define you. You are your own person. You feel happier and more fulfilled because you know yourself and what you want out of life. You are proud of yourself because you've worked hard for this. You are enjoying your life, right here, right now.
Counseling can help this be your reality. In therapy you can receive tools for helping the body process distress and access your own ability to heal. You’ve done the brave hard thing of reaching out for support and now you get to focus on yourself and build the life you want.
I personally know it’s possible to discover who you are, heal any past hurts, and be on your right path because I (Sarah Kate Wilder) have been there. Check out my about me page for more info. Additionally over my 10 years of providing therapy, I’ve witnessed many people heal their past and create the life they truly want.
Every LGBTQ+ person’s experience is different. I will tailor the process to what makes sense for you and your goals. Using evidence based therapies, such as trauma informed mindfulness techniques, attachment theory, narrative therapy, and person-centered approaches, we will find what you need to build the relationship with yourself, your partner(s), and your life that you want to have.
I believe you have the power to heal from any experiences that are causing you distress or anxiety. Even though it doesn’t often feel like it, facing the harm is incredibly brave. You deserve the support of a knowledgeable therapist to help you return to yourself and your inherent worthiness.
I’m considering counseling, but I still have some questions and concerns…
I MYSELF AM NOT IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY BUT I HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE (OR RECENTLY CAME OUT) AND THIS IS A PART OF ME SEEKING THERAPY. WOULD I BE A GOOD FIT TO WORK WITH YOU?
Absolutely! Understanding the implicit or explicit messages we were given about our identities is important no matter what. I have worked with many individuals who are processing family dynamics, wanting to improve their self esteem or working on their relationships who are not queer but sexuality/gender messaging is still an important part of the work.
At our first session we will go more into depth on what you’re wanting to get out of therapy and we will tailor the process to those goals.
I’M TRANS/NONBINARY/GENDERQUEER AND I’M LOOKING FOR A THERAPIST THAT PROVIDES LETTERS FOR HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY/TOP SURGERY/BOTTOM SURGERY. CAN YOU HELP?
Yes! I’d be honored to support you in your transition. Let me know this is what you’re reaching out for at our 20 minute complimentary phone consultation. We will get the process started!
It is wrong for professionals to gate keep by requiring a certain amount of sessions before providing the letter. We will begin the process at the very first session. I will do everything I can to make this a smooth, fast and efficient experience for you.
IF I START THERAPY DOES THIS MEAN THAT I’LL NEED TO BE IN IT FOREVER?
Therapy is not a lifetime commitment. Your therapist can support you with tools and resources to empower you outside of the session to improve your mental health and wellness. This is a brief approach to therapy.
Other people want to focus therapeutic goals on trauma work, EMDR, or deeper internal changes. This often takes longer but still can be limited to as much work as a person wants to do in therapy. Check out those specialty pages.
Some people do brief therapy. Some start, make progress and pause then come back as needed. Some do continued therapy over the course of a longer period of time. What matters most is that you get the support you are looking for whether it be short term or long term. You get to decide what fits for you.
I WANT HELP BUT I CAN’T COME SEE YOU IN PERSON
No problem! This practice is entirely virtual using secure video. I am licensed in the states of Colorado, Florida and Idaho. I can work with anyone located in these states.
I AM READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEPS. WHAT DO I DO?
Click below for your 20 minute complimentary phone consultation. On it, I’ll share my style, areas of expertise, and background as well as answer any additional questions you may have. Then if all sounds good we will set up your first appointment as soon as possible. I currently have immediate openings in my schedule.
You Don’t Have To Go Through This Alone
You are seeking out support for your mental well being and that takes courage. I celebrate you taking this step to research who might be a good fit as your therapist. Since you’ve made it this far, I’m bettering I might be a good fit for you.
Click below to set up your complimentary phone consultation to see if I, Sarah Kate Wilder, am the right therapist for you.